


Our mother is dead

by Lilek



Series: Valhalla [7]
Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 17:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13036269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilek/pseuds/Lilek
Summary: „Our mother is dead,” he said brutally, and Ivar’s eyes went large … he finally looked straight at Ubbe, and it was an accusing look.





	Our mother is dead

All these months were awful, lonely and scary. To didn’t know Ivar's fate, his life conditions, his feelings ... it was horrible and Ubbe was getting sick with faking his composure. He was mad with worry and he guiltily used Margretha to calm down his wild thoughts. She was so nice, and gentle and consenting ... he could lose himself in her soft womenhood and forget, if only for a short time, that he was disgusting blasphemer in the eyes of the gods.

When Lagertha attacked Kattegat and killed his mother, Ubbe started to crack. He reforged his worries in anger but he was still to weak to take that bitch down, and Sigurd’s passivity didn’t help. They had no chances with Bjὃrn’s mother, not without faithful army and some upper hand ... some plan.

„She can not walk freely from this”, Ubbe hissed to Sigurd, when they were dining in separate room, like prisoners. „We need to avenge our mother. It’s our duty. If Ivar was here ...

„But he isn’t. He is not here!” Sigurd reacted heatly and stared harshly in Ubbe’s shocked eyes. „He’s probabely dead by now, so don’t cover yourself with him. You are the elder brother, so start acting like one. I’m sick of you and Ivar ...”

„What did you say?”, Ubbe asked warningly, squeezing his fists.

Did Sigurd know something?

Did he see something between them?

„I said that I’m sick of you always reckoning with Ivar and seeking his advice in everything.”

Suddenly Sigured looked uncertain and confused.

„I’m  tired of you always taking his side and defending him, even thoug he’s a fucking lunatic and you know it! He can’t control himself and he has almost killed Margrethe!”

„He didn’t ...”

„She told me, Ubbe! He wanted to kill her because his fucking prick didn’t work ....”

„That’s enough,” Ubbe warned Sigurd and gulped big sip from his cup.

Sigurd obviously didn’t know about his attraction to Ivar and that these feelings were – may gods forgive them! - mutual. But it was still horrible to listen Sigurd talking about Ivar like he was dead ... like Ubbe could no longer see him, or touch him never again ... that was sickening.

„Ivar will do shit with his crippled legs. Lagertha would crush him like a worm that he is.”

„What the fuck is wrong with you? He’s your brother, Sigurd. Have some respect.”

„He never acted like a brother to me. You and our mother are the only people he’s close to. He doesn’t care about anyone else. He gives a shit about me.”

„It’s not true” Ubbe tried to blunt Sigurd’s bitter words, but deep down he knew that they were close to the truth. „Anyway, we will have to wait for Ivar, Ragnar, Bjὃrn and Hvitserk to come back, and then we will deliberate what to do”.

„I’m afraid our mother won’t get her justice.”

„Why are you so sure?”

„Father didn’t love her, as you could notice, and Bjorn will definitely support his own mother,” Sigurd said matter-of-factly. „And if you ask me ... I don’t really care.”

Ubbe stared at Sigurd with sour dissapointment, but he knew, he could not force his brother into feeling grief and seeking revenge for a death of a woman he hated so many times in his life.

How many times young Ubbe needed to take care for his brothers, when Aslaug was drunk, or focused on her hurt feelings of abandoned wife? How many times her neglect could end in tragedy? How many times it fucking did?

„We are stressed out by this fucked up situation. Let’s get some rest” Ubbe suggested after a while, ending awkward conversation, and Sigurd was tangibly thankful for that.

He smiled sadly, and after one more gulp he left the room, going to his bedroom.

Ubbe stayed longer, and didn’t stop drinking till early morning hours. He was totaly wasted and lost in grief, and he wasn’t even sure who’s death he had in mind ... Aslaug’s undeniable death, or assumed deaths of Ivar and their father.

His mother was killed with cold blood, with no remorse, but people of Kattegat didn’t have a problem with accepting Lagertha’s reign. They didn’t seek justice for Aslaug's sake.

Ubbe didn’t stood a chance here, he needed support from someone powerful enough to push that bitch from the throne, she has stolen. He considered that he would probably have to leave Kattegat and seek some alliance, and this very thought was making him so fucking miserable.

With Ivar gone, everything was making Ubbe miserable ...

He felt bad because of his incestuous feelings, but without Ivar he felt even worse.

However, fate was generous for him, because a few days later, lone boat with barely alive Ivar on it’s deck, reached the shore of Kattegat. Ubbe was informed about this by some kid, and almost stumbled fatally, while rushing to the port. When his eyes met Ivar’s dark blue ones, he felt kindness of the gods.

He didn’t feel forsaken any more ... especially, when Ivar informed him about his and Ragnar’s fate in the kingdom of king Eckbert. His brother told him everything, starting with the storm and ending on Ragnar’s unfortunate choice, and Ubbe could no longer believe in divine hate towards them.

Why save crippled boy on such a raid, when there was almost no chance for his sourvival?

It must have been Odin’s favor and Thor’s acquiescence.

Ubbe’s abnormal love was finally justified.

„I was going mad with worry,” Ubbe admited, when they were left alone.

Earlier he and Sigurd established, that he will be the one who’ll tell Ivar about the death of their mother.

„I’ve missed you.”

„I’ve missed you too,” Ivar answered very quietly, avoiding his brother’s stare.

Ofcourse Ubbe knew the reason of it, and he forced himself to keep his reserve and distance.

Maybe Ivar was ashamed of their doings.

Maybe Ubbe was the only one left yearning.

Anyway, there was something which couldn’t wait any longer and Ubbe was painfully aware of that. Ivar’s reaction could be unpredictable.

„I need to tell you something …”

„Before we start to dwell on this Ubbe … I really think we have more important thing to do …”, Ivar interrupted him middle sentence, still avoiding his gaze.

Ubbe felt rather hurt, because „dwelling on” wasn’t very kind and affectionate way to describe his feelings.

„Our mother is dead,” he said brutally, and Ivar’s eyes went large … he finally looked straight at Ubbe, and it was an accusing look.

WHY DID YOU LET IT HAPPEN? These eyes seemed to say.

„When you left, Lagertha has attacked Kattegat. She’s a ruler now. Everyone has supported her.”

„You let her die?” Ivar asked, keeping his growing anger in very frail grip.

„We couldn’t do anything. Lagertha tricked us. She was keeping us locked and guarded.”

„You should have died protecting our mother!” Ivar roared fouriosuly, smashing ful cup on a pillar next to Ubbe’s head.

„Do you think I wouldn’t?” now Ubbe was also angry.

„I don’t know! I don’t fuckin care!” Ivar answered with face covered in tears, completaly broken. „Why is this bitch still alive?”

„I told you, Ivar” Ubbe said keeping his sympathy at bay. „Almost everybody supported her, otherwise you would see piles of bodies everywhere. I would have fight to the end.”

Ivar went silent, and he tried to hide all traces of his sorrow in dirty, soaked sleeve.

„How did it happen?”

„Aslaug surrendered, but Lagertha shot her in the back.”

„I’ll kill her!” Ivar screamed, smashing his fist on the table. „I will rip her apart!”.

„I will gladly help you, but now we are to weak, and first of all, we need to avenge our father. We need an army. Great army … from all norn lands.”

Ubbe rose from his sit and very carefully moved towards Ivar.

His brother winced, when Ubbe knelt next to him and took his face in his fingers.

„We will be patient and we will do it right.” He said confidently. „We will inform Northmen from all the lands, that Saxons have sentenced Ragnar Lothbrok to die and we will summon them with all their ships and armies. We will find supportes against Lagertha among them, and with their force we will kill her.”

„And what about Bjὃrn … what if he will get to Kattegat first?” Ivar asked curiously.

„It depands od his actions”

„You're right, Ubbe, she can wait. Her fate is fixed,” Ivar smiled cunningly. „It won’t make sense, if we will change places with Bjὃrn. We will kill Lagertha, but first of all we need to unite ourselves agains killers of Raganr Lothbrok. We need to make worriors of the great army to look up to us, and to want our command. We will defit king Aella, and king Eckebrt and we will conquest whatever we can. And after that, we will crush that bitch and her son, if he will stand in our way. ”

Ivar was talking like in a trance. Like he could see it all. Their growing power and hot, red, blood of their enemies flowing in rivers.

His eyes were glossy and he was burning hot.

Ubbe was truly anxious because of him in this moment, and yet … he has never loved him more.

„They will pay Ubbe,” Ivar said to him, looking drectly in his eyes. „It was all included in his words”.

„What words?”

„I will promise you my son …, „ Ivar whispered, remembering something very important for his future. „One day, whole world will know and fear Ivar the Boneless.”

Ubbe was taken aback, because he knew, instantly, who said these words to Ivar.

And who cares, if Ragnar wanted to give his crippled son some courage with his motivating speach? It was still painful.

And Ubbe felt scared, jealous and uncertain, but at the same time he felt drawn to this wird, unpredictable and beautiful boy, who made him feel so confused all the time.

 Flooded with competing feelings.

„We will be great Ubbe” Ivar said with certanity, and Ubbe was so relieved that he wasn’t talking only about himself. That he was talking about „them”.

As brothers, companions and …

‘I love you” Ubbe confessed honestly, and Ivar was so shocked by his words, that Ubbe needed to kiss him.

He needed to crush their mouths together, because it was to long.

Too fucking long.

„I love you so much”, he whispered to Ivar, feeling his brother’s hot breath on his face, his tounge on his lips.

„I love you too”

And it would be perfect, satisfying, at least for now … but in peripheral of his eye, Ubbe saw that they were not alone anymore.

Margrethe was standing in the doorway, visibly terrified with a scene she has witnesed.

Ivar saw her moment later, when his brother rapidly stepped back from him.

„What are you doing here?” Ubbe asked her, barely keeping his voice in check, but she had already tears in her eyes and she couldn’t speak because of emotions.

Instead of answearing his question, she just run away, covering her mouth with her fingers.

Ivar was pale and he was clenching his jaw.

„You better catch her” he said in a cold whisper.

„Catch her before it’s to late.”


End file.
